The Jaded Tech

I get this call last night that a lady had knocked over her laptop and now the screen ‘doesn’t work’.  This can’t be good.  I stop by and see that the LCD is cracked and showing some nice psychedelic shades that would be the most envious screen saver for any hippie.  I tell her that if everything else is fine, then I just need to call HP, get the part and install the new screen.

I take the system home with me and plug in an external monitor.  Lo-and-Behold everything is working fine!  So she no longer has to worry about loosing her baby pictures (lesson to you all, backup, backup, BACKUP!).

In the morning I go online and see what I can find.  Ok, there’s the part number for the replacement LCD (432952-001) but no price listed.  How annoying.  I use the ‘add to cart’ trick and check my cart….still no price!  What the…..sigh, time for a chat.

Normally these chats go pretty well and are mostly helpful.  What I discovered about HP blew my mind.  I mean, such business practice actually works for them???  I have put the entire conversation up here and only changed the poor sap’s name who I chatted with and the serial number info (Oh, and myname of course….because JadedTech just looks much cooler<G>).  All else is as I saved it.

The first line is critical to pay attention to, which the HP ‘tech’ did not.  In it are the  3 critical and relevant information I need.  Anything else is extraneous.

*******

JadedTech : Broken LCD screen, would like to verify replacement cost, part number and availability/shipping times
[An agent will be with you shortly.]
[You are now chatting with HP Agent .]
HP Agent : Welcome to HP Total Care for notebook support. My name is HP Agent. Please give me few moments while I review your issue description.
Note: For security reasons, PLEASE DO NOT send credit card information via chat.

HP Agent : Thank you for being online. I appreciate your patience.
HP Agent : Hello JadedTech, how are you?
HP Agent : Are you with me?
JadedTech : well, lucky not to be the owner of the laptop
HP Agent : Alright!
HP Agent : First we need to chech the warranty status of the notebook.
HP Agent : May I know the Serial number and Product number of your notebook?
HP Agent : You can check this numbers on a non-Microsoft sticker when you flip the notebook over. Please provide the numbers beside s/n and p/n on the sticker.
HP Agent : * check
HP Agent : Sorry for the typing mistake.
JadedTech : p/n gXXXXXXXXl, s/n cXXXXXXX2
HP Agent : Thank you.
HP Agent : Please give me 2 minutes while I check for the warranty details.
JadedTech : no probs
HP Agent : According to our record your notebook is out of warranty.
HP Agent : And for setting up a service it will be charged $ 398 + tax for LCD screen.
JadedTech : and physical damage isn’t covered by warranty. Just looking for a price, part number and availability
HP Agent : Yes you are correct.
HP Agent : JadedTech, please be online as the system is slow.
JadedTech : “setting up a service’? What is that? Just looking for a price to ship the part to me.
HP Agent : Service means HP need to pick up the notebook for repair.
JadedTech : please pay attention to what I am asking. How much for the part and how much to ship it to my address, [somewhere in Canada....]
HP Agent : Yes I am searching for the part number and price.
HP Agent : Please follow the link.
HP Agent : http://h20141.www2.hp.com/hpparts/Cart.aspx?mscssid=2E3B461078C848039A097074BCAF44F6&setDest=Cart&SearchInc=Multipart
HP Agent : Part number is : 432952-001.
HP Agent : Are you able to access the above link?
JadedTech : Yes, I have been to that link and found the part number but there is no price listed.
HP Agent : The price of the part is $ 750.98.
HP Agent : JadedTech, what best I suggest you to take the notebook to your nearest authorized service provider.
HP Agent : As LCD is not the customer replaceable part.
JadedTech : HOld, a little fconfused here. $750 for the part and $400 for service? $1200 if I dicided to get it picked up??
JadedTech : (woo, lots of typos there….)
HP Agent : No if we setup a service it will charged $ 398 + tax.
HP Agent : LCD screen will be covered under $ 398 + tax.
JadedTech : How can that even be justifiable? Twice the cost for just the part but 1/2 if you do the work? Something doesn’t seem right there. Are you certain on just the cost of the part alone??
HP Agent : Shipping charges is free.
JadedTech : For $750 I should think so!
HP Agent : JadedTech, if we shiped the part then it will be chaged $ 750.
HP Agent : Please enter the part on the provided link to get the part amount.
JadedTech : wow, damn good think I don’t personally own an HP with that kind of pricing. Ok, do you have a link for finding local service providers.
HP Agent : Yes.
HP Agent : Please follow the link.
HP Agent : http://h20465.www2.hp.com/GPL/search.aspx?language_code=en&country_code=us&SearchType=SSP
HP Agent : Are you able to access the above link?
JadedTech : yes but you gave me the us one, luckily I saw and altered it to point to Canadian info. Found a service provider. Will take it from here. Thanks.
HP Agent : JadedTech, on the left select Other Countries.
HP Agent : Is there anything else I can assist you with now?
JadedTech : nope, it’s been an interesting entertainment session.
HP Agent : Thank you for contacting HP Total Care Real-Time chat support. If you need further assistance, please contact us again at: http://www.hp.com/support/chat

Chat support is available 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week.
Please take the time to register your HP product and the products Care Pack at:
Registration: http://www.register.hp.com

Care Pack registration: http://www.hp.com/go/hpcarepack/register
For information on keeping your HP and Compaq products up and running, please visit our Web site at:
http://www.hp.com/go/totalcare

HP Agent : Have a great day ahead! You have been a great customer to assist.

It gets better!  I call the closest Staples (Authorized HP reselling/fixer) and their ’system is down’ and he can’t get me a price on the part!

Call the other store “Our associates are too busy to help you, please call back” automated message.  This is just beyond ridiculous.

So now I call a Future Shop.  He lists 200+ items with the part number I have!!  Holy crap!  can you imagine going into a car dealership and saying “Hi, I need a Windshield for my Chrysler 300C with the 5.7L Hemi engine”  and then hearing “Oh sir, we have over 200 different Chrysler 300C with the 5.7L Hemi engine…..”.  This is pathetic.

I call the client back and tell her the deal.  I suggest that to keep things simple, just go buy an external monitor/keyboard/mouse and leave well enough alone.  She agrees.

Yup, never buying an HP…..ever.