The Jaded Tech

Feeling in somewhat of a sadistic mood, I read this email and thought….let’s have some fun.  I’ve been always amused by the antics I read about from 419eater.com.  I suggest you head on over and read a few stories.  They are about the spammers getting baited back, often with hilarious results.  I will be paying close attention to their Baiting Tips and see if I can keep myself amused.

First the stock spam email.

Since I use Gmail, and they are pretty smart cookies, I get a nice big warning even while in the spam box:

Warning: This message may not be from whom it claims to be. Beware of following any links in it or of providing the sender with any personal information. Learn more

Google wants to make sure you are very aware of this potential problem.  But I digress…

Attention Winner

We wish to inform you that the United Nations Organization (UN) has
taking over the Inheritance/Winning payment issue in which you presently have
with your transaction agents. Your funds was withdrawn by UN on your behalf
based on the fact that you where subjected to too many process that will make
you spend more money before receiving your funds.Your Inheritance/Winning
payment was paid out to the United Nations Organization, and they have
succeeded in depositing your funds with us. They have ordered Western Union
to take full responsibility in the transfer process of your funds, and we
have received your application for the first installment of $5,600 USD from
the total amount of $380,000.00 USD, Three Hundred And Eighty Thousand United
States Dollars. For some security reasons ,we need you to reconfirm your
personal data’s

Full Names**
Contact Address**
Country**
Telephone Number**
Age**

before receiving the MTCN for the first installment, and we will email you
others after 24 hours of receiving each payment.

Yours truly
Dr. Wilfred Davidson
E-mail: <spammeraddressdeleted>@yahoo.com.hk
For Western union payment Centers.

The first, and obvious, clue is the address of the recipient.  ”Attention Winner”.  Yeah, if I was some serious winner of any kind of prize, I’m pretty sure they’d be using my real name there.

The next clue is the organization that is purportedly being represented.  The UN.

<insert sarcasm>Really?!  The UN is wanting to GIVE ME MONEY?  Wow…and just in time as I need a new roof for my house too!  Sweet!!!</sarcasm>

Geeze, I could go on about all the dozens of other things that are just so wrong with the logic in this email (So, the United Nations uses Western Union eh?) that it would take away from getting to the fun times ahead!  I decided to join 419eaters Mentor program.  Ohh this will be sooo much fun!  I’ll post updates as I have them!

****

Ok, I just created a fake person called Candice.  She’s such a lovely lady but such a technological ditz as well as not too banking savvy….here is her reply:

​Dear Dr Wilfred,

I think you have sent this to me by mistake? I did read the email quickly, then realised it was not for me so I deleted it for security reasons. I found it confusing but I did find your email interesting. Could you explain it to me please.

Candice

Yes, she’s a little colour blind I’m afraid.  So this bright blue on white will make things a little tense for our good Doctor in HongKong.

RICHMOND, Va., July 9 /PRNewswire/ — NTP Incorporated, the company founded by Tom Campana, the inventor of wireless email, yesterday filed lawsuits against Apple, Inc., Google Inc., HTC Corp., LG Electronics Inc., Microsoft Corporation, and Motorola, Inc. in the United States District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia for infringing NTP’s eight patents related to the delivery of electronic mail over wireless communications systems.

(Read full article here)

Did you see that ‘laundry list’ of companies?  Geezus, these guys have got big balls!  It’s such a pathetic bunch of systems (both the legal and patent) that allows a company to simply buy any patent they want then turn into a business of suing other companies.  Hell, vultures get more respect.

These guys(NTP) pray on companies and their PR departments as well as litigation bank accounts.  can anyone tell me how they HELP a bad economy?

6 years ago in 2006 NTP sued RIM(Blackberry) for the same patents, and the case continued for next 5 years when at the end in 2009 RIM and NTP had a $612 million settlement.

Here is the legal definition of settlement:

The act of adjusting or determining the dealings or disputes between persons without pursuing the matter through a trial. (source)

That means noone was found guilty or innocent.  From the same sound “Settlement is a popular option for several reasons, but a large number of cases are settled simply because defendants want to avoid the high cost of litigation“.  Hey, would you pay $50 million to get $612 from RIM?  Them’s good odds and significantly better than any lottery out there!

Let’s look at another definition:

A pyramid scheme is a business model that involves the exchange of money primarily for enrolling other people into the scheme, usually without any product or service being delivered. (source)

Hmm….no product….kind of like buying ‘intellectual property’ but NTP doesn’t actually sell you (or anyone else for that matter) anything.

Usually I have a good rant on something tech-related. And by that I mean something electronic, usually computer or tech-device related. This one is different.

2 years ago I saw a $200 Active Products pressure washer (http://bit.ly/a7LeF4) on sale at Canadian Tire for $100. I wanted to get one so I grabbed it. Great deal I thought. Until today.

2 days ago. The vinyl siding outside out my house was getting dirty. No biggie, I got a pressure washer with a bottle attachment. I’ll put some cleaning solution in it and spray her down. I hooked it all up and turn it on….funny, the motor wasn’t coming on…and why the hell is it leaking out the bottom?? Sigh, yet one more piece of technology that has broken down on me.

2 hours ago I decided to take it apart and see what is causing the leak. I was expecting possibly some bad washer at best, or some cracked part at worst. Oh no….it’s some coupling that attached the electronic water-pressure switch to the side of the motor that tell the motor it’s ok to run as there is pressure. Well, annoying and damn hot out, I do what any good tech does….research to find the part from the company.

Their site lists all the ‘external’ parts (i.e. hoses, wands and such) that you can order. So I call them up. “Internal parts are not available. Products are simply exchanged in whole at the store while under warranty.” Guess what….out of warranty.

So, from what looks to be a $3.00 part, this dumb-ass company is expecting me to buy another $200 pressure washer???!! Well, screw that and screw them. I ‘contact customer service’ via email from their site. Basically telling them I’ll never buy another product of theirs again. Oh the response I got was sooo typical.

While we understand the frustration of not having your unit meet expectation. The Active Products Pressure Washers are supported by 1 year in-warranty by an exchange option only. There are no internal parts or repair option available for this product. If the product is found to be faulty within the warranty period it can be returned for exchange in its original packaging and accompanied by a valid proof of purchase.

Well, that didn’t sit well either.  I replied to this.

Thanks for the company ’standard response line’ but that really doesn’t help when one is looking at spending $200 every 2 years.

The sad thing is that the part that broke is available because the product is still sold.  One stupid little part and I’m supposed fork
out $200 to ‘fix’ it?

Your understanding does nothing for customer loyalty.

So back to using a squirt bottle and the regular hose attachment.